Alice Cooper is tired of the rhetoric – the mudslinging – the media frenzy. Keeping his snake in his cage and the guillotine in storage, he is putting people before career. Alice Cooper wants to be “Elected.”
His classic 1972 hit is once again an anthem for modern times and when it all boils down to it – a long flowing mane of (real) hair beats Bernie/The Donald/Hillary styles hands down. And he’s released a new single of “Elected” for this campaign, available here at iTunes, Spotify and other online sites.
But it’s not all about debonair good looks and long flowing locks — Alice Cooper has a platform that every voter can get behind. He is asking his fellow Americans, and all those around the world who are disillusioned with their leaders, to join “The Wild Party.”
Alice Cooper has spent countless nights on the road; many troubled hours worrying about the course of our great nations. Not afraid of controversy or springing into action, Alice Cooper plans to channel every ounce of energy (including his Alice Cooper and Hollywood Vampire campaign appearances/concerts (click on the links for his schedule), his syndicated radio show “Nights With Alice Cooper,” and his daily round of golf, of course) towards solving the world’s problems. He is tackling the everyday concerns discussed among his fellow woman and man – the ordinary, decent hard working (and rocking) people he meets and entertains every day while performing nearly 100 concerts a year around the world.
So, if you’re looking for a candidate with a platform that matters, vote Alice Cooper, the man with the plan to tackle the hot button, contentious and provocative issues on the minds of the real America and Britain:
Getting Brian Johnson back in AC/DC
A snake in every pot
No more pencils, no more books
Adding Lemmy to Mt Rushmore
Rename Big Ben “Big Lemmy”
Groucho Marx on the $50 bill
Peter Sellers on the £20 note
Cupholders required for every airplane seat
Ban on talking during movies in movie theatres
Ban on taking selfies, except on a designated National Selfie Day
These “troubled times” call for a “troubled mind” indeed. These “troubled times” call for Alice Cooper.
Said Alice, “Why NOT me?